Hello
by Fighting-this-War
Summary: A multi part fic for the challenge 'Hello' on the Royal forum - Pairing: Jill/Gordon
1. The Last Three Things

_Author Note: This is my new fanfiction :) Please R & R - Reviews are love x_

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><p>Darkness had long set over Elsinby covering the quaint town with an air of mystery, but also a tinge of sadness as for the third night in a row, Jill found herself unable to sleep, her head swimming with thoughts of the last time she and Gordon were together; the day Caroline had awoken from her coma. He had looked so fragile.<p>

She had wanted to gather him into her arms and hold him. But she couldn't; he wasn't her lover anymore, he was Caroline's husband. She had seen the blatant regret in his eyes as he announced Caroline's recover but she couldn't do a thing about it.

Jill sighed heavily and turned to face the ceiling. Lights danced across the cream aertex every time a car rolled past her flat and the headlights shone through the slight gap in her curtains. She didn't mind anyway; she knew she wasn't going to get any sleep.

For a split second she wondered if she would ever sleep again before dismissing the silly thought.

She couldn't remember the last time she had been like this over a man but then she knew undoubtedly Gordon was the love of her life. She knew she could never feel the same way about anyone else the way she did him.

He had made her feel complete; he made her feel secure, loved and treasured all at the same time. She ached when they were apart and tingled when they were together. Jill was not someone who liked to show her emotions, she tried to be the strongest person in any situation but with Gordon she so frequently allowed her walls to crumble that it felt natural to share everything with him.

Often after a hard day where one of her patients died and she usually go home, drink wine and brood but until then she started going to him, allowing herself to relieve pent up emotions; whether using him as a sounding board for her frustrations or a shoulder to cry on when everything became too overwhelming.

Tears formed I her crystal eyes but she angrily swiped at them, erasing their existence. She hated being awake when the rest of the world was asleep; it made time feel like it had slowed down or stopped completely. It provided plenty of time to reflect on the last few days events.

She remembered waking up in Gordon's arms before the call about Caroline's miraculous recovered had come through. She remembered the cold icy feeling of dread that had settled in her stomach, mainly because it had remained there since, only now it was laced with depression.

The past 3 days seemed like an eternity as Gordon had apologetically explained he needed to give his marriage another chance for the sake of his children. She hadn't cried then; she simply explained that she understood and she could cause no trouble from him. She hadn't cried that day; she worked her surgery with a semi-cheerful smile. She didn't cry when Lizzie bade her goodnight or when she got into her car and drove home.

The coldness of the flat combined with the loneliness eventually brought the tears to her eyes as she had poured herself a glass of wine. It suddenly occurred to her when the harsh winter hit and her boiler would pack up as it had done the year before, Gordon wouldn't be there to make her a fire and warm her with his body.

After the first two hours of crying exhausted her but she still couldn't sleep and eventually she felt numb until she through the same scenario the next day and the day after that until forever.

Three days ago she had woken up the happiest woman alive and now uncharacteristically for her, she suddenly didn't feel like living anymore. She tried to chastise herself, she had never based herself on a relationship with a man before but this had been different; she didn't know how or why but it had. She hadn't realised she had been crying yet again until the shrill ring of her telephone broke her thoughts and she realised her cheeks were wet. She threw a hesitant glance at the clock; 2.13am.

She thought it would have to have been the hospital; no one else would call her that early.

"Great." She murmured as she pulled on her flannel beige dressing gown over the checked shirt and loose pyjama bottoms she wore. Both too big because they belonged to Gordon.

She shivered as the cold penetrated the layers of clothing and dug beneath her skin; separating flesh from feeling.

The shrill calling continued as she padded barefoot across the landing towards the front door to where the phone lay at the end. She picked it up hastily, raising it to her ear.

"Doctor Weatherill." She spoke loud and clear, but thanks to her heavy crying session, her voice was thick and made her sound as if she had been awoken from a deep sleep.

"Hello." A soft voice answered. She recognised it immediately; it was the same voice that had whispered sweet nothings to her every time they made love.

"Hi." She almost whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" He replied lovingly; his concern for her made her heart ache.

"Erm… no. I couldn't sleep." She admitted, to which he replied that he couldn't either before the pair lapsed into silence, neither daring to breathe.

"Jill I know it won't change anything, but I needed you to know. I love you. I love you so much." Gordon's voice cracked slightly, indicating the entire sincere truth and depth to his words. Jill sank to the floor, tears streaming down her cheek and choking her.

"I know," she finally strained. "I love you too."

Gordon took a shaky breath and for a moment, Jill thought he was going to cry.

"I just wish…" He started but Jill cut him off.

"Don't please." She breathed and on his end, even though she couldn't see him, he nodded understandingly.

"Just remember, please." He responded softly before she hung up the phone, unable to hear anymore as thoughts of their last morning together flashed through her mind and swam before her eyes.

She remembered how passion had ignited in a matter of seconds. How he had tenderly made love to her before encircling her in his arms afterwards as he told her how beautiful she was and how he had wished she had been the mother of his children, how he wished she was his wife. She remembered how this had made her cry and how he had lovingly kissed away her tears and they settled into a comfortable silence, their legs entwined tightly together. The last time she slept.


	2. Kissing You Goodbye

Chapter 2

Seven and a half days of no sleep was slowly beginning to take its toll on Jill. She looked less than perfect and she was beginning to get noticeably irritable. She had previously decided not to attend Lizzie's housewarming party since she had moved to a flat opposite the Royal now that Dave had decided he wanted another woman. But the idea of being able to leave everything behind and get drunk seemed a better idea than wallowing in front of the TV drinking wine alone.

Besides that, she knew that Lizzie would be able to empathise with her predicament; not that Jill would ever tell her of her affair but the thought was mildly comforting. On top of that, she knew that Gordon would be too busy getting Caroline resettled at home to bother coming to a lowly housewarming party and that suited her beyond fine; the less she saw of him the less the heart would continue shattering.

Jill finished writing the last of her patient notes before she walked solemnly to reception, her eyes deliberately avoiding Gordon's office door.

"Here you go Lizzie." She spoke softly, trying to smile but she was certain it came out as more of a grimace. If Lizzie had noted, she ignored it and responded with a smile of her own.

"Thank you Doctor." As she turned to file them away, Jill quickly stopped her.

"Oh! Lizzie, I'm going to be able to make it to your housewarming after all if it's okay. I know its short notice but I've only just found out." Jill responded, trying to smile a friendly smile but her emotions were not co-operating.

Lizzie's smile widened even further.

"That's great, the more the merrier. In fact you're not the only one who's been able to come after all." Jill was intrigued and her mouth formed an 'o' of surprise. "Yeah, Doctor Cheriton didn't have to go to London this weekend so he's bringing Meryl." Jill blew a silent sigh of relief through her teeth before Lizzie continued. "Oh! And Mrs Ormerod has gone to stay with her father for a few days so Doctor Ormerod is able to make it too. It's going to be great."

Jill's heart plummeted to the bottom of her stomach as she realise she'd have to face him in a personal capacity for the first time since the phone call the other night.

She couldn't back out now. It would look too obvious so she forced an excited smile and walked away, trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her as she waited for her next patient.

Six hours later and Jill was already onto what she was sure was her second bottle of wine. Gordon had arrived an hour after she had and she had only been there half an hour by then but already she had heard enough mentions of Caroline's miraculous recover to last her a lifetime. Maybe it _was _God's will, but as far as Jill was concerned was that he was clearly punishing her. She bitterly drained her glass quickly before moving to the kitchen to get more wine. Lizzie was happy to be mingling with her friends and Jill noted how she finally looked happy and at peace since her separation with her husband.

Jill felt a sudden pang of jealously but quickly quashed it when she ran into Meryl in the kitchen.

"Hi Jill." She called rather too loudly. The young doctor noted that the nurse was very drunk but it was a happy drunkenness not the depressed kind that was washing repeatedly over herself.

"Hi Meryl, having a good time?" Jill responded politely as she sidestepped the blonde to get to the wine. She filled her glass in a hurry but Meryl insisted on making conversation and things only got worse when Gordon entered the room looking for beer.

"Oh! Doctor Ormerod it's such wonderful news about your wife. You must be so pleased." Meryl excitedly chatted and Gordon nodded convincingly.

"Yes, it will be lovely to have her home." He responded noting Jill's avoidance of his gaze.

She suddenly felt a rush of nausea that had to do with the level of alcohol intake in her blood stream.

"Excuse me." She almost whispered, pushing past the pair. Gordon felt a familiar feeling of dread and regret as he watched her walk away.

The party was in full swing hours later and Lizzie really seemed to be enjoying her new found freedom. Jill however had not enjoyed being dumped so much. Either Lizzie was incredibly strong and hurt by Dave or she didn't love him as much as she thought she did. Either way she had moved on and Jill admired her. The young doctor knew that no matter what happened between her and Gordon, she would never stop loving him. And she knew that as long as she felt that way. And she knew that as long as she felt that way she would be in pain. With a small amount of bitterness, she took a sip of wine – her new favourite pain killer and surveyed the room; there were numerous couples talking or swaying to the music. She suddenly felt so old and that feeling didn't do anything to quell her acute depression.

She took another sip of her wine, hesitating a moment before taking a second much larger gulp.

For a moment she was all too familiar with feeling that someone was watching her. The same blue eyes that held such anger and determination but also held warmth, love and such fevered passion that when they came together, she was always pleasantly surprised.

The same eyes that she knew watched her gently when she was sleeping but now those eyes were watching her cautiously, wondering whether he should say anything or not, come over and talk to her like the friends they used to be or ignore her. It was unlucky for her that she had fallen in love with her best friend.

As Sister Brigid droned on and on about Caroline's recovery Gordon tried to force his mind to the conversation but instead found it wandering to what would happen if he and Jill had been alone that night; how his eyes would drink in her appearance, one hand would caress the back of her neck as he removed the ribbon restraining her long dark hair. He'd feel the hairs rise on the back of her neck as he pulled her closer to him, his lips brushing hers gently before he increased the pressure.

He imagined the way her lavender perfume would linger in his nose and as he buried his head in her neck and hair he would smell her delicate flowery shampoo. He imagined feeling her react positively as he dropped butterfly kisses to her neck, his fingers on his left hand grazing over her collarbone. He thought about the way he'd cradle her in his arms as they passionately but tenderly made love into the early hours of the morning.

"Doctor?"


	3. Whiskey Lullaby

Chapter 3

Brigid's voice echoed inside his fantasy and he shook his head slightly to dispel the impure thoughts as for a fleeting moment he wondered if he was still cheating on Caroline.

"I was just asking when Mrs Ormerod will be coming home from Mr Appleton's. It must be ever so nice for him." For a second Gordon wondered why everyone was so happy for him. Couldn't they see he was the most miserable he'd ever been; that the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was not his wife but the woman stood just 13 feet away to his left?

"Erm… the day after tomorrow I think." He explained, uncharacteristically impatient and annoyed with the sister's tediousness. Nevertheless he forced a smile.

Jill - draining the rest of over half its contents - felt a sudden dizziness wash over her as she turned and walked the direction of the kitchen once more. Physically and mentally weak, she ditched the glass and replaced it with a newly opened bottle of red wine, she hiccupped slightly as, avoiding the crowds of people as much as possible, and she slowly made her way upstairs.

She suddenly couldn't face the idea of being around people swallowing large gulps. Jill felt the effects of the alcohol warming her from the inside as she sat down on what she presumed would become Lizzie's bed. It was a lovely house, Jill mused, but the décor itself was beyond her taste.

She was almost two thirds through the bottle now and when she moved her head her vision swirled and distorted until she thought she was going to pass out. She was ashamed of herself; she hadn't allowed herself to get into that state for a very long time.

She looked accusingly at the glass bottle for a second as if it was to blame. It was then, to her humiliation, that she began to cry. Not sobbing but silently as tears rolled down her cheeks faster and faster as she clamped a hand tight over her mouth to prevent any noise from escaping as a lump in her throat choked her. Unwittingly, she let out a strangled cry; it wasn't loud but enough to make her draw her breathe in sharply and hold it. Loud enough for Gordon, who unbeknownst to her had come looking for her, to detect her presence. When she thought the coast was clear, she let the shaky breath out.

Gordon suddenly felt very sad and a pain, now familiar, settled inside his heart. He sighed, pushing the door to Lizzie's room slowly, allowing Jill enough of a warning, something she would be grateful for.

She used the second between being alerted to someone's presence and their actual entrance, to swipe the tears from her eyes. She looked vulnerably up at him, her beautiful green eyes surrounded by red rims that told him immediately what he needed to know.

"I think I'm really drunk." She smiled falsely, offering the explanation as if it would excuse her state but Gordon knew her too well.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked her gently, regarding the glass on the table and the bottle on the floor carefully. She smiled sadly; eyes filling with tears again as she slowly shook her head.

"I don't think I ever want to go home." She whispered and he felt the pain in his chest intensify.

"Me neither." He responded breathily.

Her gaze caught his for a moment before she looked down, embarrassed by the situation she had gotten herself into.

"Listen let me take you across the road. I've got my office keys and I'll put in an IV to sober you up a bit quicker." He explained and whilst she'd rather not go back to the hospital she wanted to be in his company.

"Okay." She finally responded standing shakily from the bed, swaying as Gordon rested a hand on her waist to steady her. The gesture felt so familiar that she almost leaned over and kissed him. Almost. After a moment he let go and allowed her to walk the stairs alone.

Whilst the wards were quiet, even with Matron and Sister around, the reception area was in darkness and Gordon unlocked the office door. He motioned for her to sit on his examination bed as he did as he promised and put her on a drip.

"Lay down." Gordon instructed softly and Jill obeyed, mindful not to pull the catheter out. He resisted the urge to kiss her on the forehead as he left the room. For a moment, Jill wondered if he had gone. And why shouldn't he? He'd done what he promised.

So she was surprised when he came back with a sick pan and a glass of water in one hand and in the other a damp cloth and aspirin in the other. Once he had set everything on his desk, he pulled his doctor chair to the bed, sitting slowly onto it. She regarded the action with a tingling in her stomach.

With expert precision he brushed her fringe from her eyes and placed the cloth on her forehead bringing an ounce of instant relief.

"I feel sick." She said trying to sit up but he handed her the pan in time for her to be violently sick into it. She now knew she was at a whole new level of humiliation. She was sick twice more as he used one hand to hold her hair back and the other lightly stroking her back before she finally nodded to indicate he could dispose of the pan.

"I'm so sorry. I cannot believe this is happening." She let out a nervous laugh as Gordon handed her two aspirin and the glass of water which she took gladly, the cool liquid soothing her raw throat. When she was done, Gordon gently pushed her back down into a lying position, his face one of intense seriousness as he stroked the hair on her forehead and temple gently.

"Jill, I would rather be here holding your hair while you vomit than sit at home playing happy families waiting for Caroline to come home from her father's." He told her in a hard tone and she wondered if he was annoyed he ever fell in love with her in the first place or because Caroline had survived her coma.

She opened her mouth to say something but she didn't know what to say; she didn't really want the answer. He sensed her hesitation and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I don't want to sit at home waiting. It feels like a death sentence. I want to be with you. I want to share a bed with you every night. I want to eat every meal with you. Damnit I wanted to make love you every night!" he sounded angry now but she knew he wasn't angry with her now.

She began to cry again, turning her head to the side, burying it in the pillow so he wouldn't see her. Instead he moved closer, his fingers brushing over her hair and stroking her cheek.

"I love you so much and it's not fair!" he sounded defeated and Jill hated that. She didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry." She offered but he looked disbelieving.

"Don't ever be sorry." He told her gently. The pair sat in silence for a further 20 minutes, Jill's eyes gently closing and opening as Gordon lovingly stroked her hair. He cast a look at the ITV which was now nearly empty of saline.  
>"How do you feel?" He asked and without opening her eyes, she responded that she felt much better so he set about removing the line, discarding it on his desk.<p>

"Turn over." He whispered turning off his desk lamp so that it plunged the whole room into darkness except the light breaking through the curtains.

Jill did as she was told without questioning; she trusted him completely. Gordon stood up slowly, removing his tie and jacket before he climbed onto the narrow bed with her. Jill's back was pressed tightly against his body in a way that showed just how perfectly they fitted together. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and rested his head in the crook of her neck so he could smell the faint traces of her shampoo and perfume. He didn't need to say 'I love you'; she already knew but she also knew that whilst tomorrow Gordon would go back to being an unhappily married man with a family, for that night they could pretend and the pain could subside.


	4. Battle in Heart

Chapter 4

"Oh Mrs Ormerod! It's so good to see you up and about, you look so well." Brigid gushed as Caroline walked into reception a few weeks later for a post-surgical check-up. Caroline smiled politely but inwardly all she wanted to do was move away from this tiresome woman and get out of the ghastly hospital.

"Thank you, Sister." She responded tightly before walking off.

Jill, sat at her desk, was about to ask for her next patient so she was surprised when a knock came at her door.

"Come in." she called, expecting a member of staff so she was both shocked and horrified when Caroline strolled in, a heavy feeling tinged with guilt settling in her chest. "Caroline, hello." She stuttered breathlessly.

"Hi Jill, I'm just on my way to see Mr Rose for my post-surgical follow up." Caroline's smile was too sickly sweet for it to be genuine.

"Oh right, well how are you feeling?" Jill's mind raced and raced like a greyhound on a never ending track. 

"I am pretty good; Gordon's been a real sweetheart." Caroline almost leered and Jill bit back the jealously.

"Well he was very worried about you." Jill responded, through her strained throat.

"Anyway, Gordon told me all that you did for him and the children whilst I was ill so I've come by to personally thank you." Something in her tone made Jill wonder for a second if she knew about the subsequent love affair between her husband and his colleague.

"Well it's the least I could do." Jill finally responded gently.

"And also I wanted you to be the first to know the good news." As Caroline continued, Jill's stomach fell. She couldn't be pregnant. She felt sick and suddenly light headed. If Caroline was aware of her reaction, she gave no indication. "Gordon and I have decided to relocate to Bournemouth to be with dad."

Jill was beyond speechless as her stomach dropped. She struggled for something to say until she finally settled on a simple smile and an exclamation of surprise at the decision.

"I can't say, I won't miss the pair of you and the children but it would be nice for Henry to see the children as they grow up." The doctor forced herself to say. She felt a sudden urgent desperation but knew she could not show it. "When were you thinking of moving?" She asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Well there's lots to sort out but dad said we can live with him whilst our house sells up here and that way Gordon can look for another job too." Caroline gushed and Jill's heart entered a rhythm not dissimilar to tachycardia. "So probably we could be gone by the end of next week." Caroline continued and Jill was stunned.

"That soon? Wow." She tried to sound enthusiastic. "Gordon never said."

"No he wanted to tell Mr Middleditch first but since you've been a real friend to the family you deserved to know first. Oh! And we are we're having a party tomorrow night at the Grande if you can make it."

Jill couldn't imagine anything she'd rather attend less than a leaving party for Gordon but she smiled politely anyway.

"Well I'll certainly try." She offered and Caroline, having spied the time suddenly became agitated.

"Oh my lord would you look at the time! Mr Rose will be waiting for me." And with that she left and Jill sunk further into her chair, a trembling hand over her mouth as she tried to regain control over her shaky breathing.

"Lizzie, do you know who is on call tomorrow night?" Jill asked the receptionist who quickly scanned a piece of paper.

"Erm… Doctor Cheriton, doctor." She responded and Jill's head fell slightly.

"Lizzie, could you change it to me? Let's just say there's a function I want to get out of." Jill asked conspiratorially. Lizzie looked confused but nodded none the less.

"Yes Doctor." She answered. Jill thanked her then took her next patient. She went for Mrs Childs but an uneasy awkwardness ensued when she ran into Gordon as he was about to grab his own patient. Jill looked scathingly at him for a moment as he smiled a greeting.

"I hear congratulations are in order." She spoke in a hard and somewhat cold tone. Gordon looked at her with confusion. She only allowed her eyes to flicker in his direction for just a moment before she continued to just look ahead. "I was invited to your leaving party this afternoon. I hadn't even been aware that you were going anywhere." She responded, not trying to sound bitter. Gordon stared at her in disbelief.

"Caroline had no right to talk to you." His comment made her wonder if he ever intended to tell her and the thought made her furious. Though she kept her voice level, sensing her annoyance, Gordon began to offer an explanation but Jill cut him off.

"Gordon you don't have to explain, you are doing what is best for your family. I understand. I'm your _friend _Gordon and I'm happy for you." The emphasis on the word 'friend' made his heart drop before he realised how selfish the thought was; he couldn't expect her to be hung up on him forever or to wait to see if his marriage would fail again. But he also knew if it wasn't for the children and wanting to keep the family as a whole as possible, he and Jill would be together and they'd both be happy instead of miserable and pained. By the time he had finished thinking; she had moved away and was escorting Mrs Child's to her office.


	5. Story of Us

Chapter 5

"Here you go Lizzie," David handed a card over which she quickly set about filing as Gordon approached.

"Oh! Gordon, I'm really sorry I can't make your party tonight. I'm on call but you and Caroline must have dinner with Meryl and me before you leave." David explained to the senior partner who smiled in response. Before he could say anything Lizzie suddenly cut in, remembering the last minute switch.

"OH! Doctor Cheriton, you're not on call tonight. Doctor Weatherill is covering it." She explained and both men looked confused.

"Oh, did she say why?" David asked casting a glance at Gordon.

"Something to do with not wanting to go to a function." The receptionist answered casually, absent-mindedly turning away as Gordon felt a cold, icy sense of dread.

David looked delighted.

"Well I guess I'll see you tonight after all." He grinned.

"Great." Gordon feigned a smile and in truth he didn't wanted to go to this party as much as Jill didn't.

Eight hours into the party, 20 congratulations and good lucks and Gordon was bored. His eyes kept flicking to the door hoping to see one particular face but she never came. So instead he went to her.

"I'm sorry Caroline, there's an emergency at the hospital." He lied, pecking his wife in the cheek.

She nodded in understanding but deep down she was resentful and all it would take is one single glass of wine. A comparison of a drunken Jill and drunken Caroline entered his head and it occurred to him just how different they were. He realised Caroline turned her anger outwards, hurting everyone else around her. Jill on the other hand became vulnerable and hating herself for it. Thus she inflicted the anger inwards - hurting only herself. He hated the idea of her hurting herself.

He walked to the hospital, not because he had had anything to drink, because he hadn't, but he wanted to spend as much time away from his wife as possible. He finally stopped in front of The Royal and entered via the casualty doors. He crept along the corridors until she came to the door he wanted. He resisted the urge to trace his fingers over her name plate as his knuckles hovered, about to knock as inside he prayed she was there.

He gave a firm, confident knock and waited for her to respond before he would open the door. Her command to enter was loud and clear and he turned the handle.

"Hi." He looked apologetic and she found herself smiling slightly.

"Hi." She breathed back as he locked her office door.

She regarded his actions slowly as his moved the three steps between them before his lips were on hers, his hands gripping her waist as her own mouth matched his movements. Her hands were around his neck, rubbing the short hairs at the nape. Neither said anything for a moment as they indulged in the kiss.

Without warning Gordon broke the kiss before lifting her with super human strength onto the examination bed. She gave a little cry of surprise before looking at him as he pushed skirt up gently and kissed her neck at the same time.

"Oh Gordon." She panted in throaty desperation as his fingertips ran up and down her bare thighs.

They parted as Gordon tentatively fiddled with the buttons on her blouse until all but the bottom two were undone exposing her bra and bare midriff. He raised a hand to her cheek, kissing her tenderly as she too fiddled with his shirt buttons. After a moment all were undone as she slowly and teasingly undid his belt buckle before moving onto the button, then the zipper.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he began to make love to her, nipping and kissing her neck teasingly and lovingly. After a moment he whispered for her to lie down, which she did and he crawled on top of her. The pair stayed that way until each reached the other's inner core and Gordon, his breathing heavy, took her in his arms for a moment. His breath tickled the hair on top of her head as she laid it on his bare shoulder.

"I don't want you to leave." She softly said after a few moments of silence as her fingertips traced the skin on his chest.

"I don't really want to either." He admitted. "To be honest, I wasn't even aware we had decided we were going to move. Caroline brought the subject up. I said I'd think about it and next thing I know is she's told you we're leaving."

Jill looked up at him, shifting her position slightly. Before she could say anything he continued.

"I can't keep doing this." Jill's eyes automatically filled with tears. Being with Gordon once every few days was better than never at all.

When she didn't say anything, he softly spoke her name to which she nodded against his skin, unable to speak for the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I think I need to ask Caroline for a divorce." He sighed and her breath caught in her throat. She sniffed slightly and he finally realised she was crying. "Jill?"

She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his.

"I just thought-" She trailed off and he immediately knew what she had thought.

"Never." He told her tenderly, stroking the tears away from her cheeks.

After a moment she got up, pulling down her skirt and buttoning her blouse. She leaned over her desk and picked up a lipstick from her table and applied it in front of the mirror aware that an amused Gordon was watching her quizzically.

She spoke to him through the reflection as she brushed a hand through her tussled hair, grimacing when she noticed a red mark on her neck just below her ear lobe where he had bitten her just a bit too hard.

"I need to look somewhat presentable." She smiled and he slowly got up, coming to stand behind her, hands on her waist as he kissed her sweetly on the top of her head.

"You look beautiful." He responded and she blushed slightly before turning in his arms.

"Well you don't look so bad yourself." She grinned wiping the lipstick traces away from his mouth. He watched her as she lovingly did his belt buckle, then his zipper and finally his button before redid the buttons on his shirt laying both hands on either side of his neck. She fiddled with the collar slightly. 

Moments like this never took place with Caroline.

"I better go." He gave a sad smile before brushing her lips gently with his. "I do love you so much."

"Me too." She responded softly. "Now go."


	6. Midnight Pains

Chapter 6

The party was winding down by the time Gordon got back and by the time Ormerod's had gone home and relieved the babysitter, Caroline was fairly drunk and raging.

"Emergency involve a woman did it?" She asked accusingly as she sniffed the air around him.

"Yes, I had to console a woman whose husband was very sick." He asked, tired of the accusations that used to be thrown so much about before the accident and were now being resurrected thanks to 2 or 3 bottles of Merlot.

"Well as long as you didn't console her with your manhood." She sniped, lighting a cigarette.

He watched her carefully with some amount of disgust.

"You're drunk." He finally responded. She whirled on his, her features contorted into a look he'd seen many times before just before a glass came flying his way.

"And you're fucking someone else!" She screamed, awakening the children who crept onto the top of the stairs.

"I really thought things were gonna change." He sighed, trying to regain the euphoric feeling he had had when he was with Jill.

She laughed manically, her arms flaying around.

"Change? How can things change? Don't you get it you stupid little man? I am caged. This family is dull. You're dull. The children are dull" I don't love you. I don't think I've ever loved you or the kids! How could I? Everything is so DULL!" She screamed and Gordon's jaw fell slack.

Upstairs Tom began to cry.

"Mummy doesn't love us?" He cried quietly as Katy, also horrified took charge of the situation as big sisters do and put her arms around him.

"How dare you!" Gordon hissed in a low voice. "I can accept you've never loved me but how dare you say you never loved OUR children?"

She began to laugh, alcohol surging through her veins like electricity.

"Only a dull and pathetic man like you could breed two so similar!" she spat and Gordon stared in disbelief. He knew she could spiteful but these were new depths of evil. He couldn't believe he had broken up with Jill to try and salvage this marriage.

"You're so spineless you actually gave up your one chance of true love and happiness," She began to laugh, lightly at first until it escalated to hysterical.

He looked at her confused for a moment.

She stopped laughing and looked at him bitterly.

"You think I didn't notice the way you look at her?" She hissed before clearly annunciating every word clearly. "Doctor. Jill. Weatherill."

Gordon suddenly realised why Caroline had revelled so much in telling Jill about the supposed move and he began to shake slightly, the anger in him rising.

"You told her on purpose! That we were moving." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She looked at him with a smirk. "You deliberately wanted to hurt her." He growled, furious that she had hurt the three people who meant the most to him; his two children and his lover.

He made a noise of disbelief.

"Get out." His voice came out in a low growl from his throat.

"I'm not going anyway." She scoffed defiantly but he had no intention of being anywhere near her.

"Fine." He whispered almost.

She regarded him for a moment assuming he was going to back down. She poured herself another glass once he had left the room. She heard several doors being opened and closed.

She grinned to herself, happy with the effect she had caused just as Gordon came downstairs, a suitcase in one hand, tom holding his other and Katie, trying to act her whole 10 years, stood beside him. Caroline looked at them, the realisation setting in.

"You're not taking them to her!" She spat and Gordon regarded her angrily.

"Watch me." He simply said setting down is case to pull on his coat and instructing both children to do the same.

Caroline really became angry at that point and walked close to him, the glass of wine still in her hand.

"I am their mother!" She screamed in his face but he was so used to it that he didn't even flinch. This angered her more.

"You're not a mother, you're a monster." He calmly told her and unsurprising to him, she slapped him, hard. "And just so you know, I may be spineless and pathetic as you say but it is you that has destroyed this marriage and torn this family apart. You may think I am the one who ruined everything but that's because deep down you know that everything you touch, you destroy." Gordon told her and she threw the glass at him, screaming like a feral animal as she did so. Instinctively he turned and took the brunt of the impact on his shoulder as the glass shredded his shirt fabric and cut his delicate flesh underneath.

"Daddy!" Tom suddenly cried and Gordon ran a tongue over his lip, tasting blood on his lip where not only had a slither of glass nicked the skin, but the wrath of Caroline's hand had split it. He turned to his son, gently reassuring him that everything would be okay as he retook Tom's hand, picked up the suitcase and pushed past Caroline. Whilst in the drive, he bundled the children and his small suitcase into the car, wondering whether Jill would still be on call at the hospital or if she would have gone home by now.

It was 3am – right in the middle of the on call shift – so he reasoned she would still be there. With that thought in mind, he drove to the hospital.

The Royal was remarkably dark when his blue Zephyr pulled into the car park which was now unusually empty. He cast a glance to the back seat where Tom was fully sleeping and Katie probably wouldn't be far behind.

Relieved that even with the upheaval they had still managed to settle down.

He was even more relieved when he saw a familiar green mini parked 2 spaces next to him. He rubbed a hand over his sore and bloody shoulder before getting out and moving the back seats.

"Come on Katie love." He gently spoke as he scooped his son into his arms. He left the suitcase for a moment, unsure where they would be sleeping that night or for the near future, he thought glumly. He and the children made their way through the casualty doors, the same route he took only 3 or so hours ago when he had sought Jill out and they had had sex in her office; a memory that seemed a long time ago.

Tom began to stir slightly as Gordon switched arms to hand Katie the key to his office which she unlocked happily.

He turned his head to the side as he heard heels clicking along the corridor, approaching their way. Katie rushed into Gordon's office, her eyes no longer able to stay open.

Jill appeared from around the corridor to casualty, deeply engrossed in the chart that she was reading that it wasn't until she got very close that she saw the broken family.

"Gordon?" She asked gently in disbelief as she stood face to face with him taking in Tom's exhausted state. She rested her spare hand on Tom's head, lightly brushing his hair. Gordon watched the gesture with an extreme sense of love and he smiled at her gentleness.

"Let me just put Tom down and I'll explain." He yawned, pushing open the door with his foot and Jill nodded slowly, concern flooding through her.


End file.
